


The Results

by Spiritdrop



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Ace Papyrus, Angst, Brotherly Love, Cigarettes, Crying, Depressed Sans, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, HP stands for HOPE, Hugs, I'm Going to Hell, Impending Death, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Not Frans, Salf-Hatred, Sickness, Suicidal Thoughts, Tagging as I go, ace sans, chain smoking, first multiple chapter fic, head canons, not fontcest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-10-25 03:54:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiritdrop/pseuds/Spiritdrop
Summary: If you told Papyrus that within a years time on the surface he was living a happy life and everything was looking up finally, he would have believed you. However if you told him within a year his brothers' health would continue to get worse and worse and he would be left sitting in an office awaiting test results about said skeletons health... He probably would tell you to kindly leave him alone and stop thinking such horrible things. However,  here he was, in that exact situation. And oh boy how he wished he wasn't.





	1. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to regret this so much but.... I'm making something other than a one shot!! 
> 
> It might be long or short depending on how I feel about it and how the feedback is on it.
> 
> ALSO ALMOST FORGOT; this is heavily based off of zarla-s' misery AU but it's definately not the same. I promise.
> 
> Link to Misery:
> 
> http://zarla-s.tumblr.com/tagged/misery

In Alphys' lab downstairs in her and Undynes' house on the surface, Papyrus sat patiently as said dinosaur fidgeted with a paper and clipboard in her hands, in front of him. Sure, he knew she wasn't an actual doctor in this way but, he also knew that she was the the most qualified to go to about things concerning the SOUL of a monster. Sans was on the side of him looking equally as nervous as Alphys herself, he had a right to be. Papyrus could see the way his brother was shaking and, how he had to hide his hands in his filthy jacket pockets to try to make it look as if tremors weren't making their ways through them. Of course Papyrus was nervous too. The fact that Alphys hadn't said anything yet made every second more nerve wracking, inside his mind he pleaded for someone to break this horrible silence, every moment tested his hope as he and his brother awaited the news but, he hid his fear with a small smile and shimmering eyes. He looked like a kid who was eagerly waiting for a line in an amusement park to move. However, he was no where close to feeling like that. He felt more like, a person assigned death penalty.

After minutes of terrifying silence he decided he would be the one to start the conversation, "So, do you have the.... Results?" His voice shook with each word, betraying his calm appearance. Alphys heard the way his voice was wavering and flinched a little, quietly mumbling something. She had her eyes planted on the paper. She looked guilty. Papyrus couldn't hear her and he was almost positive neither could Sans, so he prompted her to speak a little bit louder.

She took a shakey breath and whispered loud enough so the skeleton brothers could hear now, even though her volume was still low, "I'm so s-sorry... H-he only has n-no more than three m-months to live... H-his SOUL is just t-too weak..." It took a moment for the information to settle in. With the new knowledge registered however, the two faces of the skeletons changed quickly. While Papyrus was struggling to fight back tears, Sans was just... Sitting there, his eyesockets were blank giving off no emotion. His mouth curved in a hollow smile.

Papyrus kept thinking to himself, this is a mistake! Sans can't be falling down! It MUST be a mistake! He's unhealthy but not that much, surely! As Papyrus was have an inner war with the fact of his brothers condition, small whimpers made their way out of his mouth. 

When everyone turned their attention to him because of his crying, he quietly said, "H-he can't die. He can't!" He sounded like a five year old whining the way he did but he didn't care, he wanted his brother alive! He received a pitying look from Alphys and just as she was opening her mouth to say something, Sans reached over and hugged Papyrus tightly. 

The taller skeleton returned the hug and using the smallest voice Sans had ever heard from him, mumbled, "Sans, y-you can't.... You have so much more to do.... I don't want to lose you." Sans hugged Papyrus tighter, somehow, and buried his face into Papyrus' shirt. 

His voice came as a low rumble seconds after, being muffled by the shirt, "Bro, I..... I have three months to get better. I could still get better.... I have time..." Sans didn't even believe himself, but he didn't want Papyrus to feel horrible about the situation at hand. "Even if I don't... I have three months to spend with you..."

Papyrus too, didn't believe Sans. He really did try to find faith in the fact of Sans getting better but he saw only months prior that it only will get worse. He had seen things get progressively harder for Sans with each new day. He noticed how Sans gets exhausted from the simplest things now. He noticed the way Sans tried to hide how tired and weak he was. 

A sob wracked thought Papyrus' body and he clung to Sans. He felt pathetic sobbing in front of both his close friend and Sans but he couldn't stop. The tears slithered down his face like snakes.

After a few minutes of the two skeletons just clinging to each other, Alphys' voice spoke up softly, she was clearly a bit embarrassed for witnissing such a private moment, "D-Do you guys w-want to go home now? I m-mean you c-can take all the time you w-would like! B-but-" Sans' voice cut her off, "Yeah... We'll head home.... Thanks Alph." And just like that, there was a flash of blue and the two were gone.

As Alphys processed everything that happened today tears came to her own eyes. She hoped with all of her soul that Sans would get better and both the skeleton brothers would be fine. 

She knew it was false-hope, but she still did. She clung to every bit, peice, and fraction of it still.

\-----

It took mere seconds after Sans was done teleporting them for Papyrus to break down, standing directly in the middle of their living room. The sounds of sobs echoed through the house and Sans just hugged him, whispering, "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Papyrus gave him a look through his teary eyes, too far in his sobbing to stop now. But for Sans, the look said it all. Papyrus' eyes were pleading, begging, scraping at borderline demanding, all saying, "Please don't leave me, Sans. I can't deal with that. I don't want to see you die." 

The small skeleton grabbed his younger brother and hugged him tightly quietly whispering, "I'm sorry. I know. I know, Papyrus." This triggered the taller skeleton to sob even louder and cling to his frail older brother. He was a sobbing mess there, in the middle of the living room but he didn't care, he cared about only Sans right now. His mind being usually positive and filled with all good things, began eating away at him.

_He's going to die._

__

_He's going to suffer._

__

_He'll never get better._

Sans, clutching to Papyrus and being muffled by his shirt once again started whispering, "I'm sorry" over and over again. Papyrus reacted by just whimpered and stuck to his brother. He didn't want him to go. He didn't want him to leave-

"Shh it's okay. I'm here right now okay." Sans' voice was like a knife slashing through his thoughts. He didn't know he had spoken them out loud...

\-----

After countless reassurances from Sans, the taller of the two brothers stopped sobbing and slowly came back to the world, instead of his mind. Well, he was shaking and sometimes a few stray teardrops would fall, but he wasn't sobbing at least. He didn't even notice when they had moved from the floor to the couch and when the TV had flickered to life. He only noticed how Sans was sitting on the side of him cuddled against him. 

Papyrus fell asleep that night still laid across the couch hugging his brother, grasping onto the fact that his brother wasn't going to disappear over night.

\-----

As soon as Papyrus fell asleep Sans was letting out a heavy sigh. Instantly quieting down though so his brother didn't wake.

_Three months._

_Three._

_90 days._

Sans felt his face drop from the smile he had before, the one only held for trying to comfort his brother. He knew he should feel shocked, scared, sad, something. He just felt.... Nothing. Deprived of emotion. Papyrus reacted more openly than he did. Heh. Papyrus clearly loved Sans more than he loved himself...

How long was the excuse, "I'm not going anywhere." Going to buy him? Probably about a week at most. 

Sans wiped the trails of tears from his brothers' now peaceful face and thought to himself,

_Exactly how long have I wanted to die? Kinda cruel for the one time I don't want to, completely die, for the world to screw that up. Heh._

_Maybe it's for the best this happened._

_He doesn't deserve to watch me wither away._

Sans fell asleep that night with that thought fresh in his mind. And the next morning, Papyrus woke up to an empty couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh I'm a person for a good cliff hanger. Can never write them correctly tho. But hey you can have this lol.
> 
> Feedback, kudos, and comments are all welcomed!
> 
> Have a story idea in your mind and would like to see it written?  
> Just leave a comment on what you would like to see me write!  
> I read all the comments and would love to see what you guys like me writing so I know!  
> Feel free to comment anything undertale related for a fanfic idea, I don't judge!  
> You can give a recommendation of any characters but just a warning... I won't write foncest, Sans/Frisk, Papyrus/Frisk or any /Reader.... (I'm sorry...)  
> Have a nice day!
> 
> \-----  
> None of these characters are mine and they along with Undertale belong to Toby Fox. I do not claim these characters as mine.


	2. The Next Day....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, the day you get the news is the hardest. But most times, it's always the days after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT LIVESSS???? Sorry guys I've been working on three fics at the moment along with studying for tests and drowning in homework
> 
>  
> 
> I'll try to update more!!

Papyrus stretched his arms out and immediately one of them collided with the couch he had forgotten he slept on. Why on earth was he on the couch again...? And where was... _Oh._

Thoughts of the night prior came rushing back into his mind all at once. The way Alphys had told the two brothers Sans would die. The way he had cried, clinging to his brother, begging him not to leave. The way Sans promised he wouldn't be gone when he woke up....

All the resolve from yesterday suddenly vanished as that thought hit him. He had said he wouldn't leave.... He looked over at the empty couch, besides the fact that he himself was lying in it. And suddenly, Papyrus started looking around the house urgently. Him not knowing where Sans was wouldn't usually be a huge problem but, right now with the fresh thoughts of yesterday scraping against his mind, he just wanted to know where he was.... To have reassurance that he wasn't gone forever.

As he checked over each room he kept repeating to himself,

_He's not gone._

_He's not gone._

_He's not gone..._

_He's not.... gone....._

Eventually the words lost any meaning that they had possessed before and they became slower and slower as new thoughts flood into his head. Papyrus wished he could stay positive right now but his mind just didn't want to comply, it wanted to drown out anything positive with the negatives. It seemed so.... overwhelming.

Finally, Papyrus got to the last door in the house he hadn't checked, his brothers room. He felt like an idiot for not checking it first now, as he edge the door open to see a small skeletal figure curled up on a mattress. He looked like he was asleep, with his face hidden from view, but Papyrus just wanted to make sure. Usually, the mess covering every inch of the the floor would immediately make Papyrus extremely uneasy but at the moment, the floor didn't bother him. 

In fact, during this time Papyrus was just studying Sans' appearance. His brothers' eyes were open and there were faint tear tracks trailing across his cheekbones, not faint enough to make them hidden, but defiantly not from within the past hour. As he inched closer to his brother he quickly realized how his face was tense, showing how he wasn't asleep, how his eyelights were pin pricks, almost all the way faded out, and the most shocking, a frown was plastered across his face dragging down the corners of his smile was usually something Sans never did... infront of Papyrus atleast.

His brother was clearly not asleep, if he had slept at all was the question Papyrus didn't have the answer to.

He cleared his throat and spoke at a reasonable volume for it being God knows when in the morning, "What are you doing, brother? A-Are you okay?" His brother seemed to snap out of a trance he was in prior to the question. Sans looked like he just realized someone other than him was in his room and did an, almost, good job pulling on a fake smile. If Papyrus hadn't seen the way Sans looked only a moment ago, he would have believed it was a true smile. 

Sans made about as complicated an expression as someone could make while holding their face in a smile. All the expression was, was Sans' eyes sagging a little bit and confusion spead across them, but them he made his face look exactly like it did before. 

He quietly asked, "What did you say before, Papyrus? I uh, zoned out I guess."

Yeah. Zoned out was one way to put it.

Concern laced Papyrus' voice as he restated his question, "Are you okay, Sans?" In the small time it took for that question to be asked, Sans seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable.

The smaller skeleton hesitated to give his answer, but gave out a small laugh before saying, "Hm? Whadda ya mean? I'm fine. Nothing is wrong, bro."

Papyrus gave Sans a pittying expression and watched as Sans tried to get up. Tried is the key word, for as soon as Sans got to his feet, he stumbled forward and almost face planted into the floor.

But, before he could do that Papyrus reached over and stopped him from hitting the ground, saying a small "Nyeh!" While catching him.

In Papyrus' arms, Sans was sitting there, stunned for a few seconds. How did he mannage to fall? Why? He was probably looking way too much into it but, he was told yesterday he had months to live.... _months._ He had to constantly remind himself that it as real. That he actually was going to die and could do nothing to stop it. _And it was permanent this time._

He snapped out of his thoughs when he was set down on the ground by his brother and muttered a small, "Thanks." To said brother. 

With just a, "Your welcome, Sans!" Being said from the other skeleton, clearly in a somewhat good mood now for some reason, of which Sans couldn't find. But he was glad Papyrus was acting like himself today, loudness and all.... 

He wouldn't want to screw up his happiness any more than he already was.

The rest of the day was full of awkward scilences and long pauses in conversations between the two brothers.

No one brought up the time limit they had together.

\-----

Its been two days from the moment the news had gotten to the brothers and Papyrus felt like his brother was already ignoring him. Sans had been yet to leave his room for the past 12 hours, not even to get food. Papyrus was worried.

So, he made the decision any reasonable brother would, and knocked lightly against Sans' door. 

As his knuckles made of bone collided with the door, his called out, "Sans, are you okay? You haven't eaten in awhile..." It felt a lot more than 'awhile' though. There was no reply.

He rapped his knuckles against the door again, "Sans.... Please answer me..." His voice was showing worry and he felt the horrible urge to cry but, he knew that wouldn't solve anything. There was still no answer.

He tried once again to rouse an answer out of his brother by laying his head against the door as he knocked, "Sans, brother. Please answer, you're starting to scare me." And God, did his voice show how true his words were. 

But, he guess that was a good thing as he heard a small reply from the other side of the door, the voice of his brother, it was wavering, "I'm fine, Papyrus." He certainly did not sound fine. Not even close to Papyrus. He sounded on the verge of tears or like he was already crying.

That's probably what prompted him to say through the closed door, "I'm coming in, Sans." And continue to edge the door open, and then fully open it.

Sans' room was still a mess. Nothing had gotten cleaner since he had last been in the room and the trash seemed wide-spread over his floor. But, just like last time, his attention wasn't focused on the floor, it was on Sans. The smaller skeleton was hugging his knees to his chest on his mattress and tears were running slowly down his face.

Papyrus quickly went over to where his brother was, stepping over various different types of trash, one of which were an empty cigarette pack. He would have to talk to his brother about that later but right now he needed to comfort him. When he got over to where Sans was on his bed, he wrapped an arm around his brothers smaller frame. Sans' shoulders were shaking with sobs and he moved his hands to hide his face from his brother.

Papyrus rubbed his brothers' shoulders with a gloved hand, whispering to him, "It's okay brother, we'll get through this... It's okay." That made it so Sans' sobs grew louder and he moved his hands from his face to hug his brother.

After a few minutes of him just crying into his brothers' shirt, Sans finally collected himself enough to make out hoarse words, "I'm sorry, Papyrus. I-I didn't mean for you to see me this way." 

Papyrus just rubbed Sans' shoulder still and replied back, "It's okay to break down in front of me, Sans. It's alright..." 

Sans let out a haggarded breath, "Heh. What would I do without you, bro?" He still had tears falling down his face.

Papyrus stayed silent as that question froze in the air. He replayed it in his mind, applying it to himself this time.

_What will I do without you, Sans?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter was really bad. I tried to get it out in under a week and also I feel pretty depressed as of lately. Something I do to feel better is write though but this story reminds me a bit of my situation right now so... (If you're curious about my so called situation feel free to ask. I don't mind.)
> 
>  
> 
> Don't worry! I love this story and I won't abandon it!


	3. Coping Methods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even when things are looking up... Nothing stays good forever.... does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long!!! Like two days and it's still bad!! The end notes are my excuse I guess??

Everything was actually going okay for awhile. Sans didn't isolate himself from Papyrus, and they decided to ignore the issue at hand for awhile. Probably not the smartest idea, yeah, but they did it anyways. Ignoring it would give them a borderline type normality.

They had normal days when Sans would act like his old self again. But, there was also days where he would smile but it was hollow... Nothing could cheer him up on those days.

But, despite that, Sans was smiling. He was laughing. Everything looked fine, it only took a week for things to even out again. 

Or so everyone thought.

Little did Papyrus know though, that while he was asleep at night, Sans was laying down struggling to keep his breath even and definitely not going to sleep. God, no he didn't want to sleep. He couldn't. You would think after so long and with everything else going on, nightmares wouldn't still haunt his slumber, he wished that was the case. But, sadly they were still there. Every time he closed his eyes. Nightmares of that sickeningly sweet voice holding an underlying evil. That knife, covered in dust of all his friends taken away from him one by one. Dust blowing around in the snow, a red scarf not far behind. His brothers screams, crying out to be saved by his older brother. Watching as the ones he loved turned slowly to dust. 

Not to mention the resurfaced nightmares of his own death lately with current events. The way he clutched his chest as he felt himself bleeding out marrow from the slash cut across him. The pain that flashed through his small form. Being forced to watch over and over as his hands covered in red, turned into dust and as his vision faded to black. 

Sans shuffled from his bed, hastily throwing on an old pair of clothes lying on his bed and shifting his feet into his slippers. He couldn't lay down right now. He couldn't just be doing nothing, and be left alone with his thoughts for another night. He can't handle that. He went to exit his room, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off his nightstand and throwing a lighter in his jacket pocket, before he closed the door behind himself quietly, making sure not to alert Papyrus. 

Once he left his room he both silently and hurriedly, made it outside. He wasted no time, as soon as the door was shut behind him, leaving him standing on the patio, he started fiddling around with his coat pocket to find his lighter, and messed with said lighter until it let off a low, bright flame. The fire, while casting off light for Sans, also lit the end of his cigarette, the first from the pack. He stood in silence with his back leaning against the house, slowly dragging in and breathing out the smoke from the lit cigarette. Papyrus would probably kill him if he found out but hey, old habits die hard. 

He continued to inhale and exhale the smoke and ashed the tip of the cigarette. The buzz of the nicotine made him feel better but God it didn't fix the way he felt entirely. Knowing he was going to die. Knowing he was going to drag anyone and everyone who loves him, down with him. And when that smoke was done, and the rush of nicotine ended, he used the lighter and lit up another. The rush of chemicals burning with each cigarette made him feel... only better. God he was really relapsing. But it was worth it if he could feel like he could somehow handle everything going on, only for a moment. 

He knew it wasn't good for him to be smoking.... He didn't quit years ago for nothing. But, when you're feeling like shit, it's kind of hard to not fall back onto the things that made you feel good. Even if it meant inhaling smoke for the buzz of nicotine. He with each inhale could feel himself slipping deeper into his old addiction again. He had spent so long trying to quit too...

He was ruining all his previous work.

_Add it to the list of things wrong with him._

But at least it helped him deal with the nightmares not to mention reality. God he hated his nightmares. He hated them so much. They were the reason why he couldn't sleep, not only because they remind him of everything but also because they would leave him a crying, screaming, panicking mess for someone else to clean up. That someone would be his own brother now.

His _younger_ brother.

As Sans kept smoking cigarette after cigarette, he began questioning things.

_Why do I have to be such a mess?_

Another cigarette.

_Why do I have to bug everyone around me with my own problems?_

The pack continued to empty.

_Why would anyone care?_

The questions swirled around in his head like the smoke swirled through the frigid night air, as he finished his last smoke for the night. 

_Why?_  
_Why?_  
_Why?_

\-----

That night, Sans was curled up against his pillow running over the endless questions in his head. The only answers he could offer for any of them were negative. Attacking himself with his own thoughts. And once the Monday morning sun came up, he studdied the ceiling of the surace home he and Papyrus shared with unfocused eyes. Maybe he could lie here all day. It would save him from causing troubles that could easily be prevented without him there. It could save Papyrus from his constant worry, his panic-

Someone's voice cut straight through his thoughts, "Sans? Are you alright, brother?" When had Papyrus opened his door? It didn't matter. He was standing there, with another concerned look across his face.

Sans looked over at the skeleton standing in his room's doorway, he just, stared, still lying down with his limbs clinging to his pillow. He felt dislocated from the moment, still caught up in the void of negative thoughts in his mind. But as Sans stared, Papyrus stared back. He started studying the way Sans looked, checking for hints of his brothers current thoughts, quickly discovering that dark circles were etched around his eyes, making Papyrus almost physically flinch. How had he not noticed the little amount of sleep his brother had been getting? Exactly how much was he missing? Why?

Papyrus had thought everything was going to get better from the beginning of this week. He now knew he was wrong. He was so wrong and it was only Monday. A deep frown was spread across his face now.

He moved to get closer to his brother, speaking his brother's name in a questioning tone, "Sans?" The small skeleton came crashing back down to Earth with the mutter of his name.

He tried to pull on a smile, but it looked a lot more like a grimace, "Oh, heya, Papyrus... what's wrong?" Papyrus' frown increased.

The younger skeleton quietly talked and sat down once again onto Sans' bed, "Sans.... nothing is wrong with _me_.... But what is wrong with _you_?" Sans' fake smile, if you can even call it that, went stiff.

Sans let out almost a chuckle, that's something he seems to do a lot, "I'm fine, don't worry about me." Papyrus wasn't buying it for a second. After a few moments of the brothers staring at eachother in silence, Sans turned his face away and nuzzled it into his pillow.

Sans' mind didn't fail to take the opportunity of whispering to him,

_Pathetic. Can't even hold up a facade anymore._

Papyrus slowly made his brother sit up in bed using both his arms, as soon as Sans was upright though, he fell back down again. He refused to even look in Papyrus' direction.

Papyrus sighed, "Sans, whatever is wrong, talking about it will help." His eyes kindled a pleading look, "Please talk to me." Sans stayed silent.

Silence that's all there was. Well, silence and stubbornness. The stubbornness came from both ends seeing as Sans refused to give an answer and Papyrus refused to leave without one.

Eventually though, one of them broke.

Papyrus sighed and muttered, "Sans, fine. If you don't want to talk, we don't have to." His voice was laced with disappointment, so thick you could almost choke on it. The sound of it made Sans want to hide away, because he knew, _he did that to Papyrus_.

Sans put one of his arms over his eyes, "I'm sorry." He quietly mumbled, "I'm sorry I can't talk. I'm sorry you have to deal with me. I'm sorry you can't live a normal life anymore because of me. I'm sorry I got sick and I only have a few months left. I'm just..... I'm sorry...." Sans curled into himself, laying on his bed with his back to his brother.

He was sorry. That's all he was, he was sorry but he couldn't fix it. He would always be sorry. 

His mind began to scream at him, telling him he was useless and that he should just off himself, that Papyrus deserves a better brother.

_Just kill yourself already! Not like it would matter!_  
You know you're useless!  
Don't you think Papyrus deserves more?! 

But, the screaming inside his mind was brought to a sudden stop as Papyrus lightly hugged his small brother. Sans was immediately confused, Papyrus was supposed to hate him. Papyrus was supposed to leave and live a normal life like everyone else. 

P a p y r u s w a s s u p p o s e d t o n e v e r f o r g i v e S a n s .

But the arms around the smaller skeleton confirmed, Papyrus was going to stay, his brother didn't hate him, he forgave him, or rather never blamed him. Eventhough, Sans didn't think so.

And then, Sans felt small tears sliding down his cheeks. But, they weren't his. 

Papyrus was crying and the tears were slowly dripping off of his face down onto his brothers, and in between haggard breathes he almost shouted, but not with agression, "Sans, none of that is something you are blamed for! Sans, I would never blame you for anything that has been happening!" Sans felt like he needed a smoke. God, he really did.

But, Sans just sat there feeling his brothers tears fall down onto him.

 

From the way things have been going so far, eventhough it had been under an hour, Papyrus knew, it would be a hollow smile day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaah it's lateeeeee.... I actually have a reason tho! This Friday, I had to run the mile.... and I'm sick.... anywayy I don't wanna get into it a lot, but things were said, everything went bad, it resulted in me crying in a locker room. Yeaaaah it was a horrible day 10/10 willing to forget. And now I feel like shit today! Yay!
> 
> ANYWAYS Subject change: Would you guys be fine with some sansby??? If not tell me because I'm fine with having no ships in the fic. (In other words I have no idea what ships you guys might want...)
> 
> And sorry I know this chapter sucked... I'm not in my best writing mood.
> 
> AND ALSO;
> 
> I'm going to add fluff so get urselves prepared!!! It won't be good fluff, but fluff..... maybe.


	4. The Visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I..... have no excuses for how long this took..... 
> 
> I mean, I have pink eye right now but I'm so so so so sorry about how long this took.
> 
> Anyways I just wanted to say, you guys are so amazing! Like oh my god over 300 hits and over 30 kudos?! I'm really touched that this many people read and like my work! :3

It was the middle of the second week when news of Sans' condition had finally hit everyone. They all finally knew. Toriel, Frisk, Undyne, Asgore, Mettaton, Napstablook and many more, even the dogs and Grillby, had all heard. 

Sans figured it would have taken longer but, recently he's been proven wrong on a lot of things.

And as a result, the skeleton brothers started receiving phone calls, from all their friends. They all had wishes, hopes, questions, and comfort to offer. Sure, Sans only picked up a few of the calls but he's heard enough to know all the calls will be almost the same. Full of awkward pauses and some sorries, them wishing he would get better, asking how he's been and some other things. He was actually really grateful for them, how could he not be? They saw him as someone important. 

But, his mind still refused to leave him alone...

_If only it wasn't all going to waste._

_If only you hadn't gotten sick, they wouldn't have had to be bothered by you._

Sans even though he was grateful, didn't know why anyone cared about him still. Didn't they realize caring was just going to get them hurt? That giving up on him was the best option? ...The only option.

The phone began to ring again and Papyrus, got up from where he was seated to answer it. 

When Sans' brother held the phone up to where his ear would be if he were human and said hello, Sans could hear the faint voice of a female monster who loves puns just as much as he does.

_They all care._  
_They all care._  
_They all care._

Sans repeated that sentence over and over in his mind. He needed to remember it.... He shouldn't forget.

As Papyrus began chatting away with Toriel through the phone, Sans just sat there spacing out. He didn't have much else to do. Sure, maybe everyone cared but, socializing with anyone right now seemed very unappealing to him. Even if it was his brother or the goat monster making Papyrus cringe with puns currently.

He only broke from his focus on nothing, from Papyrus' voice at his normal volume saying the words, "Everyone visiting would be nice!" 

Oh....

Maybe he will have to socialize after all.

He wasn't really looking forward to that. But he definitely wasn't going to complain, Papyrus looked so excited.... Sans hadn't seen his brother genuinely happy or excited about something since his diagnosis. Why ruin that?

Sans tried to listen in as he heard Papyrus starting to list names of people they should inform of the newly made plans. He swore he caught a Jerry in there but honestly, he wasn't sure. He secretly hoped he didn't.

Sometime though, while the two were talking, the smaller skeleton must have fallen asleep because the next thing Sans knew, he was being shaken from a slumber he didn't even know he fell into, by his brother. 

As soon as Sans was awake, Papyrus started to tell him all the plans for the 'get well soon' party. Papyrus was smiling widely at the thought of having everyone over the house.

Sans however, faked a wide smile. No, the smaller skeleton definitely didn't want to talk to anyone. But, Sans wouldn't screw this up with his own feelings. 

He wouldn't.

\-----

It was half past four on Saturday when the first guests knocked on the door of the skeleton brother's house. 

Papyrus, having been a ball of excitement since he woke up that day, rushed to the door to greet and welcome in whoever it was. 

The guests turned out to be both Toriel and Frisk, leave it to them to come on time.

Toriel instantly hugged Papyrus, Frisk joining in on the hug, turning it into a group hug. 

Still hugging Papyrus, Toriel sweetly asked, "How have you two been? Seems like ages since we've seen each other!" How long had it really been since everyone was together? Or at least the two skeletons were with some of their friends? 

Papyrus smiled and responded, "Yes, it has been too long! We are doing fine lady Toriel, thank you for coming!" 

As soon as he was free from her hug, he bent down to Frisks' hight, which admittedly wasn't very tall for a thirteen year old, and started a conversation with them, "Hello human! How's everything been?" 

Frisks' mouth was curved into a smile as they signed back, "Everything is good!" 

The conversation carried on as Papyrus directed everyone over to the couch where Sans was. Toriel waved Sans hello and Frisk smiled over at Sans, but they both kept conversation with Papyrus. 

Sans would jump in with a bad pun here and there to make Papyrus groan and Tori and the kid laugh, but that was basically it. Well, that was until more and more people started showing up.

Within basically no time, the brothers' house was full of the former guard dogs, a passionate Undyne and Alphys duo, a fabulous robot, a flaming bartender, and King Fluffybunns himself. 

It was really starting to look like an actual party now and Sans was getting caught up in a lot of conversations. He didn't exactly not want to be in them but he would honestly prefer not to be. 

So, he went outside and rested his back against the patio. He would probably go back into the house before anyone noticed he was gone anyways.

As Sans was leaning against the house he gave in to the itching urge of nicotine and dug through his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter again. 

As he inhaled and exhaled chemicals, he didn't notice how Papyrus opened the door, in a search for him, to moments later shut the door quietly.

He only noticed him there when he felt arms hugging him from behind. Panic struck through him as he was being held. 

_Oh God._  
_Oh God._  
_Oh God._  
_He knows...._

Sans' breathing picked up a little as thoughts raced through his mind and he felt his brother hugging him tighter.

Papyrus simply said, "It's okay Sans. I'm not mad." 

That's all it took for Sans to quietly mutter, "I'm sorry...." Over and over again.

Papyrus loosened his arms from around his brother after a few minutes of the two brothers standing there. He made Sans face him and looked his brother straight in the eyes. 

He firmly said to Sans, "What's wrong?" It was more of a demand than a question, Sans could tell.

So, the smaller skeleton simply broke eye contact and lied straight through his teeth, "Nothing to worry 'bout."

Papyrus shook his head, "Sans, you were clean from smoking for three almost four years. It has to be something to make you suddenly start again." He was right. But beside that fact, Sans still didn't want to talk about it.

But Papyrus wouldn't accept that. He wasn't just going to sweep _this_ under the carpet. Not again.

He said a tad bit more demanding this time, "Sans. Tell me what is wrong." 

The older brother sighed and stared a particular wood board on the patio, "Why...." he paused for a second, from hesitation, "Why does anyone care about me, Papyrus?" Papyrus froze.

He didn't know how to answer that. Out of the thousands of words in the english language, he couldn't possibly string enough together to tell his older brother how much everyone loved him and why. 

Sans took his silence in a bad way though, "Heh. Yeah.... S-sorry.... I can't answer that myself...."

Papyrus hugged his brother again, tightly, and whispered, "You're an amazing brother. A spectacular friend. Someone people could turn to. We love you because you're you, Sans. We'll always love you and care about you."

The kind words made tears surface at the corners of Sans' eyes. He felt like he was being lied to, but Papyrus didn't look the least bit like he was kidding.

He quickly wiped the tears away and murmured, "Sorry.... but, thanks." 

Papyrus smiled broadly and let go of Sans, "Anytime brother. Now, want to go back in with everyone?"

Sans shook his head yes and entered into the house with a smile on his face. 

He could see the dogs all sitting down playing cards at the small table. A few of them were sitting on the floor but that didn't seem to bother them.

To the right of his eye, he could see Undyne attempting to suplexing people and Toriel trying to scold her. 

He let out a small laugh and went over to talk to them as Papyrus headed over to Alphys to see what she was doing.

Sans decided that maybe he could have a good time for now, surrounded by his friends. 

He spent the rest of the party sharing horrible puns and jokes, annoying almost everyone but making a few people laugh. At least, that was until Undyne threatened to throw him out of his own house. Eventually, Alphys had ended up telling Undyne not to hurt Sans. 

And when everyone left and both brothers were exhausted, Sans was smiling a true smile. He actually felt happy and most of his worries were off of his mind. 

He went to sleep with his soul feeling lighter than it has in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised fluff didn't I? Welllllllll
> 
>  
> 
> Is this good enough? XD
> 
> I'm not a good fluff writer. But I can always tryyyy.
> 
>  
> 
> -EDIT: I might go back and actually rewrite a bit of this XD I feel like it was kinda choppy??


	5. Lazy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you need a lazy day to lift your more than admittedly low spirits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.... first off oh my gosh you guys are so amazing and thank you all so much for dealing with me through all these long update periods.
> 
> And heheh ummm.... 11 days. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Enough said? No? Well um.... I have tests going down right now and the 11 days I didn't update for were days of packing my brain with knowledge I will never use again in my life. Yeppp. And to add to that heh. Writers block.
> 
> This took way to long to write but I just want to say it again you guys are super amazing and deserve awards for it XD
> 
>  
> 
> *Oh my gosh you guys, 500 reads and 50 kudos? Thank you all so much! \\(^-^)/

The next morning after the party when Sans woke up, at 12:30 PM, he felt.... okay. He didn't exactly feel bad but he defiantly didn't feel like he was on top of the world either. He couldn't even remember a time he did feel like that. He felt kind of... Numb. And when he climbed out of bed and stretched, his joints letting out small pops, he sadly admitted to himself, he was expecting to wake up feeling like this, even with how good he felt yesterday.

He always woke up feeling like this. But that was alright, wasn't it? It's alright to feel bad or somewhere in the range of it, sometimes. Even if that sometimes was a little more than often. It was normal wasn't it?

Well, it was for him anyways.

He slowly shuffled downstairs, hearing the loud clang of pots and pans and the.... indescribable smell of burnt spaghetti and sauce. Well, it smelled like one of his brothers' better pots of spaghetti anyways. At least that was something to look forward to... Sort of. His pseudo stomach was twisting and turning at the thought of eating anything. Even if he would be doing it to please his brother.

Dragging his feet still, Sans moved over to the table and simply flopped into the chair, instantly dropping his head to rest on his folded arms on top of the table. 

It took Papyrus about a minute to notice Sans was there, even with his rather loud entrance, due to being caught up in his cooking. He only actually noticed him when he turned around with two plates of spaghetti in his hands, steaming and ready to be placed on the table.

He, just realizing his brother was there, gave him a small smile while he place down his cooking in front of him. He couldn't tell why but by just looking at him, he could tell Sans was exhausted. Was he loosing sleep again? The bags under Sans' eyes weren't getting darker... Well... Maybe the party from yesterday tired him out. 

In all honesty though, even Sans didn't know why he was so tired. He had actually slept yesterday and he wasn't woken up by horrible nightmares that he just knew were memories. He just, felt tired and numb.

Papyrus sat down across the table from Sans and started to twirl spaghetti around his fork. He only started really eyeing Sans when he noticed his brother hadn't even moved to grab his own fork. Or at all.

Even though most people thought he wasn't observant, he was in little ways. Like, he could simply notice when something was off with someone, or if someone needed comforting. For an example, right now. Sparing small glaces at his brother, Papyrus quickly noticed Sans' usual smile was dragged down at the corners, and his eyelids were drooping slightly. His expression made him seem like he hadn't slept in ages.

Silence stretched out between the two brothers, Papyrus analyzing his brother and said brother being too tired to smile or joke. Eventually the silence grew so thick you could choke on it, so naturally Papyrus had to break it, "Brother, did you have fun at the party yesterday?" He tried to keep eye contact with his brother but his bother was just staring at his food.

Sans just shrugged his shoulders and let out a small noise, not giving a side of yes or no, "Mmf."

He actually had a little fun. Only towards the end. But eventhough he had enjoyed himself and he wanted to admit it, he was too tired. He felt too tired for anything _and he just woke up._ He just... couldn't find the energy in himself for anything. He wondered how he even managed to get out of bed if he can't even answer a simple question.

_Pathetic and useless like always, huh?_

Papyrus simply stared at his brother, who had still not even moved to grab his fork. Or moved in general from that same position.

The taller of the two skeletons let out a small sigh, he had thought maybe his brother would be happier after yesterday. He seemed so.... back to normal yesterday, surrounded by everyone, even with his horrible jokes every few minutes. Papyrus would admit it, any day he would chose the puns over sadness. But, of course he shouldn't have expected everything would have fixed with their friends all just simply coming over. That wasn't reasonable.

The brothers continued to eat the spaghetti. Well more like one of the brothers. Sans just continued to stare off into space, his eyesockets growing blank and becoming void of his little eyelights the further he got into his thoughts.

Papyrus was only growing more and more concerned for Sans. Ever since the very first day that Sans started growing sicker and sicker, Papyrus has been concerned. But now, he let it show again by curving his smile into a straight line and giving his brother a, well, concerned glance. 

Sans didn't even react. He was just detached from the world. In his own thoughts.

Well, he was until Papyrus cleared his throat rather loudly, breaking him from his state of mind, "Sans, are you going to eat?" Even with his attention on Papyrus, Sans just gave a small shrug of his shoulders and moved his head to stare down his plate. Papyrus was already done with his food, and Sans' was no longer steaming, or warm for that fact. Making it all the less appealing. 

He made a small face at it, clearly showing he had no interest in it and quietly muttered, "I'll save it for later...."

Papyrus, clearly not liking the idea but knowing his brother would not eat the food, gave in and got up to go get plastic wrap.

Sans, after the food was put away, refused to move far from the kitchen. He simply plopped down on the living room couch and stared up at the ceiling. Even with his small body, he took up a solid two and a half cusions of the somewhat small sofa. 

He was lying there somewhat peacefully, spacing out, for a good hour before Papyrus had decided he was going to try to help his brother.

He for one, would not simply stand by as his brother was clearly in a bad mood.... He would at least _try_ to help.

That was the only reasoning going through Papyrus' head as he went over and sat uncomfortably on the half of a cusion his brother wasn't taking up by laying across the couch. His brother didn't even notice him. Again.

Everything seemed to be repetitive today. It all seemed to be like the past repetitive weeks of the same bad moods over and over again. Papyrus would be lying if he said he didn't want a break.

But he would never take one if course. No, if someone needed him he would be there to help them. To make them happier in any way possible.

So when he finally regained himself from his thoughts, with a new confidence, he looked at his brother, noticing he was being stared back at with confused eyes and spoke to him directly, "Sans, I... I know you're having a bad day and not much can be done for that but... I want to help. So if there is anything I can do to make you happier, just tell me."

Sans kept looking off to the side, staring at the floor, or at the blank TV. Hee didn't want Papyrus to have to cater to his every need just because he felt a .... _bit_ bad. It wasn't fair to his brother. 

So, he simply shook his head and pulled on a fake smile, muttering, "'M fine Pap. Even if I wasn't, there's nothing you could do about it."

Well, he sure can try, no matter how much objection he recieved. It was his own special kind of determination.

And, to achive his goal, Papyrus sat Sans up on the couch and let his brother lean onto him with all his weight. One handedly attempting to find the TV remote to see what was on television at the moment. 

After about three minutes of trying to find the remote, his attempts paid off as his hand colided with the button. As soon as he had a grip on it, he carefully switched through the chanels.

There was honestly nothing on. There were maybe a few movies already half way in, and a few soaps on but nothing major. He settled for a simple movie. 

It was hard to understand starting from the middle but both brothers eventually understood the plot, it only took about 30 minutes. Or until the end of the movie, but who was keeping track?

And by the time the movie ended, Sans was nuzzled into Papyrus' shoulder, letting out soft snores. Papyrus simply smiled and flicked off the TV, getting up carefully to go grab a blanket from upstairs.

Papyrus could tell, today, even though the day wasn't close to over yet, that it would be okay. Definitely not perfect but okay.

That's all he wished for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show a less naive Papyrus for some reason... *shrugs*
> 
> Fun fact: This started off as a happy chapter. Idk what happened.
> 
> *No one bring up the fact they are eating really early and Sans is super tired..... please. XD
> 
> If you have any questions by the way, feel free to ask! (I'm working on the next chapter right now btw I won't take this long again im so sorry.)


	6. Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There didn't seem to be good days almost ever anymore. But this day, was one of the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I look at the kudos and hits by you guys it just makes me feel so happy. Thank you all so much.
> 
> To celebrate I would usually have a photo that I drew for you guys but I'm a terrible artist.... 
> 
> Please accept when I say I'm grateful and thank you.

Papyrus woke up with a renewed energy and spirit the next morning. And, vaguely as threw on clothes for the day, he hoped his brother felt the same way.

But, for the moment, Papyrus pushed that thought away from his mind as he made breakfast for him and his brother. He'd decided to do something special and make pancakes for them both, one plate with chocolate chips and the other with small cut up fruits. He looked over his food, quite proud of the small treat. 

His cooking on normal meals was improving, though it still wasn't the greatest after a year on the surface. After all, he was retaught how to cook once he got up here, starting from square one all over again, because apparently, aggressively mixing and pulverizing ingredients with your fists were not proper ways to cook, _who knew?_

And as Papyrus went to alert his brother of breakfast, he had quickly realized his thought of this morning could be answered with a big 'no'.

His brother didn't feel the same way.

That much was made clear when Papyrus knocked on his brothers door to call him down for breakfast, at first receiving no answer. 

Seconds later as the silence persisted, the younger skeleton knocked on the door lightly again, this time following the knock with, "Sans, I made us breakfast. I think you will really like it this time!"

There was no response.

On the third knock, Papyrus tried the door handle only to see that it was locked. The door was _never_ locked. Were they doing this again? Is Sans going to stay in his room for half the day or more again?

He let out a small sigh, "Sans? Are you in there? Please unlock the door."

Once again, he could hear no reply from the other side of the door. 

He wasn't going to give up yet though. Papyrus gave the door one more knock.

And to Papyrus' surprise, he could hear a small response, "Bro... leave me alone. M' not hungry."

Even Papyrus knew that was a lie. The biggest lie he had heard, well second biggest, coming right after 'I'm fine'. 

So, he rested his back against the door and tried to reason with his brother, "Sans, you ate almost nothing yesterday. Not only did you skip breakfast and lunch, but for dinner I saw how you only picked at your plate. I know you're hungry." Sans was silent for a second.

And then another second.

Papyrus had thought his brother was ignoring him until he heard a small voice, close to the door this time, "Papyrus. I'm really not hungry. Just go away." For Sans, it wasn't a full lie. He really wasn't hungry, he was _starving_.

The taller skeleton leaned harder against the door, "Sans, I know you say you're not hungry but I know you are. Please just eat something. I made you a stack of pancakes today... You have to eat." The special breakfast surprise would be gladly thrown out the window, only if it meant Sans would eat.

But for someone who seems to think he always gives up, Sans had a dedication to his claim, "Papyrus, I told you I'm not hungry." His pseudo stomach growled with the lie, "I don't care-" 

Papyrus cut off his brother as annoyance and a small amount of anger piled up inside him, replacing the somewhat content feeling he'd had before, "Sans, you have to care!"

He can't just... _not_ care. He had to. Because if he cared he wouldn't give up. If he cared, Papyrus really believed Sans could try to make it. _So he has to care_!

But, of course he didn't see it that way, "Papyrus, just leave me alone."

He had been hearing that the whole time he was at the door, so why did that one sentence make Papyrus' soul hurt? Maybe it was the way Sans said it in pure defeat. And maybe that's the reason why Papyrus left his brother alone.

Papyrus sighed, pushing off the door and walking away from the room with unshed tears shining in his eyes, off to eat his breakfast alone. Without trying, his gaze always landed on the other plate sitting across the table the whole time.

\-----

Sans felt horrible. 

He knew why he had to do it, so why did it hurt him when he had deliberately pushed his brother away? He didn't want to hurt his brother, but he had to. 

If he didn't push him away now, it would hurt Papyrus so much more later. Sans was a burden. 

A burden that he wouldn't force his brother to carry. Papyrus would be happy once he realized that Sans was just dragging him down, right? He was doing him a favor.

_Right?_

No matter how many times Sans reran through his reasoning and told himself, _it was for Papyrus' own good_ , he still felt.... well, like shit.

His stomach growled and begged for food, but Sans just laid against his door. He wanted to eat, but it would be a waste wouldn't it? He was just going to die, he didn't need to waste food and make himself even more of an issue.

As Sans sat on his floor, filthy as usual, he listened to the movements downstairs, muffled as they were. He could faintly hear Papyrus walking around, cleaning maybe. He did that when he was upset.

He made him upset, but for the right reasons, right?

Sans wanted to smoke. He wanted to smoke until his non-existent lungs burned and then smoke some more. To get a rush of nicotine that he desperately needed and pain he deserved.

But... His body felt like he weighed more than he possibly ever could, and his pack and lighter were all the way laid on his nightstand. He couldn't see himself getting up anytime soon. He didn't move. He just...

Sat there.

Listening to the noises of his brother cleaning downstairs and his thoughts circling around him.

He was a bad brother. But, that's why he was pushing Papyrus away wasn't it?

He was pushing him away so that Papyrus could be better in the end. Was he really that wrong fir doing that?

He questioned himself over and over again. His thoughts however, only stayed on that topic for a few minutes, shifting to an arguably worse one. What his brother had said.

_"Sans, you have to care!"_

He was right, he had to care.

But he didn't. He didn't because caring hurt. Caring hurt so much when his life was turning to shit and nothing he had ever done had actually mattered. The only thing he had done was get attached to people and they were all attached to him for some reason. Now, everyone was going to hurt because of his pathetic existence.

_Nothing new, all I'm good for is hurting people._

He curled up and laid his back somehow harder against the door, cradling his head with his skeletal hands as toxic thoughts flowed through his mind.

It felt like an eternity that the thoughts were screaming at him, telling him horrible things, pointing out everything wrong but suddenly, they stopped. They stopped when a sharp knock rang through the air. And soon after Sans could hear a plate being placed down next to the door.

He held his breath, which he now realized was coming in small, ragged breaths.

He waited for the sound of footsteps walking away, he didn't hear any.

Instead he heard his brother, in a small voice he had been growing disconcertingly familiar with lately, "Brother... It's already five," Was it already that late? "you haven't left your room... I know how you said you don't care but, you n-need to." 

Papyrus stopped for a second after the stutter, "You need to eat and you need to care. Please." And with that, he walked away, leaving a plate of food behind for his brother.

Sans, however, stayed curled up in a ball on the floor. He could smell the sweetness of the food sitting outside the door, and it made the emptiness of his stomach all the more apparent to him.

But he still didn't move.

He just stayed there and clutched his growling stomach, trying to fight away hunger as his thoughts took hold of him again.

He was a waste of food.

A waste of worrying.

A waste of concern.

He was a waste.

_A waste._

_A waste._

_A waste._

He sat there still when Papyrus walked past the door again. He could hear his brothers footsteps halt when he noticed the plate, untouched and long gone cold. 

_That was it._ Papyrus told himself as he sat down on the opposite side of Sans, the door holding up both of them.

"I know it hurts, Sans. It hurts me too." Papyrus' tone sounded defeated, "But you have to care about yourself still. Because I can't stand loosing you twice Sans." Twice. Mentally and physically. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with that grief, not ever.

Papyrus could hear Sans, faintly whimpering muffled by the door. Papyrus could feel his own whimpers stuck in his throat and tears stinging at his eyes, but he didn't cry. 

"I love you, Sans. You're my brother and we can get through this, alright? We just need to try." Papyrus actually was thankful that the door was in between the two of them right now. Only because of the fact Papyrus was crying silently now, and he didn't want his brother to see him like that again.

The two brothers sat muffling their cries for a few minutes.

And all in one moment, Papyrus was suddenly more thankful for something. It was the small click he heard of the door lock unlocking. God, he was so thankful of that small little noise.

As soon as the door was unlocked, Papyrus got up and opened his brother's door, forgetting to wipe his eyes. But he didn't care at the moment about that, he had gotten through to his brother. Metaphorically and literally.

Papyrus hugged his brother tightly once he'd seen him. He hugged him so tight he was afraid he was going to crack a rib, tears still running down his face. 

Later, they would talk.  
Later, Papyrus would make Sans eat something.  
Later, not unlike right now, everything wouldn't be okay, there would be more tears and confessions. But right now, Papyrus just hugged his brother.

He hugged him like he would vanish if he let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is now the new definition of 'darker yet darker'.
> 
> But I'm sorry about the wait which feels like the millionth time I'm saying it. But this week was shitty and hey, atleast i'm FINALLY out of school.  
> (As in this week was shitty I mean I was told to kill myself by two different people. 'Yay'.) 
> 
> But, shitty week and all, I am okay... or somewhat close to it.
> 
> But I haven't asked, how are all you lovely people??
> 
> *Just in case I want to notify you guys that I'm going on a week long vacation on July 19th. I will write during that time or try to, but I most likely will not upload for that week.


	7. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day to relax and forget all your worries around your friends is ideal for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I..... I need to take better care of myself ;u;  
> I'm sick again heh.... I get sick a lot XD (Probably all the all nighters I pull.... like everyday....)
> 
> I was actually supposed to be driving to the beach rn but it's raining T^T
> 
> A/N: I love writing Papyrus saying 'nyeh'.... help.
> 
> But anyways, le chapter c:

It was nearing the end of the first month now.

And god had the month been tiring. 

Four weeks, and everything had fallen apart. Only four weeks. How could something that took so long to build just tumble down suddenly?

Why did it even matter anymore? It was happening. That's all the two brothers knew. And all their friends knew.

Everyone knew it wasn't going to magically go away. So why did it still hurt so much? Why did it hurt Papyrus so much when he could start to see his brother shaking from chills, in a seventy degree house?

No matter what happened, it hurt. It hurt so much that he needed a distraction. Anything, he just _needed_ a distraction.

Which is why, when the news broadcasted that it would be a perfect night for star gazing, Papyrus jumped at the opportunity.

Star gazing.

The one thing he remembered Sans had always loved. He could remember the times back in the underground when him and his brother were babybones, hiking from Snowdin all the way to Waterfall, to look up at the artificial stars they had. He could even recall all the times Sans had read him books about stars, and planets. His brother had always been amazed at them and craved to see them.

A perfect distraction.

Papyrus slowly got up off the couch, flicking off the TV and headed up the stairs towards his brother's room, checking a clock on the wall as he passed by. It was already noon. Sans hadn't even gotten breakfast yet. He was probably still asleep. At least, he hoped that's what it was.

Sans had been improving after last week with eating and overall caring, but he always had those slip up days. On those days he would eat close to nothing, only eating what Papyrus forced him to because he had to eat. On the bad days he would mostly be.... disconnected from the world.  
He hoped it wasn't one of those days.

And for once, his hopes had paid off. As soon as Papyrus opened up his brothers door, after knocking of course, he quickly realized his brother was still asleep. He stared at the bags under his brothers eyes and held back for a moment. 

Sans' sleeping schedule had become horrid the past month. Well, at least worse than it had been before. But, as much as Papyrus hated to do it, he needed to wake his brother up. Mostly to eat but also to inform him of the unofficial plans. 

He lightly shook his brother to awake him and got a mumbled, "Five more.... minutes." before his snoring resumed. At the reply Papyrus let out a weak chuckle, shaking his head as he continued to attempt to wake his brother.

It only took a good five minutes, ironically, for Sans to fully wake up. And, once he was awake he was shuffling rather ungracefully down the stairs with his brother following close behind. Sans was smiling slightly which was a relief to his brother.

Maybe today was going to be one of the good days. Or better days at least.

Papyrus was snapped out of thinking when his brother yawned, letting out a breathy sigh moments after and mumbling, "Good morning." 

The taller skeleton, now paying attention, took the chance to point at the clock and declare, "It's noon! You slept half the day away!" Sans laughed at that, the corners of his smile going up more as he made his way into the kitchen. 

From there, Sans got something to eat, settling with actual food instead of condiments, at Papyrus' request, and the brothers talked. About what? Anything really. Conversation jumped from how each brother was doing, to knock knock jokes, to small talk. 

That was their 'normal' conversation anyways.

And when silence fell over the two brothers, the younger brother remembered exactly what he was thinking about before he awoke his brother, letting out a rather loud "Oh!" startling his brother.

He tried to hide his small chuckle at his brothers reaction as he began again, "I was watching the news today, they said something about it being a perfect night for star gazing... Maybe if you're up to it we can go. We can even invite some of our friends!" The smaller skeleton didn't say anything for a second, thinking it over, his smile dragging down slightly. 

Only a moment after he brought it back up and nodded his head in agreement, "Sure, we could see if Tori and the kiddo are doing anything." Papyrus let out a breath he wasn't aware he was even holding in. 

Why had he expected Sans to say no? He knew how much his brother loved the stars. Just... he'd prepared himself to hear a 'no' for some reason.

He beamed at his brother, he had just been acting silly of course, "Great! I'll go call them now."

And true to his word, Papyrus did call them.

It turned out Frisk had just gotten braces today and their mouth was sore but other than that, nothing was holding the three monsters and human from getting together today. Frisk of course insisted on going even with a sore mouth, eager to see their friends again. 

Not like they talked very much anyways.

And, with the plans set for the group, destination at the bottom of Mt. Ebott at 9:30, Papyrus hung up the phone, letting out a small 'nyeh' of accomplishment.

He instantly told his brother the time they had to be ready by, but knowing by now that he would probably just throw on some shoes or something before leaving. 

He waited excited for the hours to pass, one by one until it was finally time to leave.

\-----

As soon as it struck 9:15, Papyrus and Sans were out the door. Well more around 9:18 but who was checking anyways? That gave them just enough time to walk down to where their former prison was. 

The mountain, that one day the monsters were freed, suddenly changed in everyone's point of view. It was no longer something holding them back, but something letting them be free. It was a shelter for the monsters until humanity accepted them.

The two skeletons walked the short distance in a peaceful and comfortable silence, arriving at the mountain before their two other friends. But, while they were waiting, Papyrus took the chance to look around despite how it was rather dark outside. 

He only got a good look at the outside of Mt. Ebott before he could hear a small car beep and see Toriel and Frisk heading their way.

Toriel was wearing a purple dress which dipped below her knees, while Frisk was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. Both members smiling as they approached, Frisk showing off their new braces. 

In no time, they were already standing next to the skeletons, saying their hellos.

Papyrus, of course, was the first one though to tell everyone they should find a nice spot to sit. 

Toriel politely butted in saying, "Oh! I have some chairs in the car, along with blankets and some water... Frisk wanted to get soda but with their teeth right now I said no." She patted Frisks head as they pouted, crossing their arms. 

They must have really wanted that soda.

Sans, mostly staying out of the conversation up until now offered, "I can go with the kid to find a spot while you guys grab the things?" 

Toriel nodded her head along with Papyrus, saying, "Yes, that would be nice. We won't take too long, well I hope we won't." And as Papyrus agreed, they walked away leaving Sans and Frisk alone.

Wasting no time Sans turned around to look for a place where you could clearly see the sky and also have room for chairs and such. 

Deciding to also start up a small conversation, "So how have ya been kiddo? Haven't really seen you much."

Frisk smiled, feeling glad to be talked to and signed back, "I've been doing well! My class got a new teacher in school who's really nice. She even refers to me as 'they' or 'them'! Not many teachers do that." They paused as if thinking of what to say next before signing, "How have you been?"

The question was really innocent but Sans could tell by the way Frisk had a look in their eye that they wanted more than the old 'I'm fine.'

But, he tried his luck anyways, "I've been... fine." He stopped and Frisk gave him a look saying that they weren't convinced and to say more. He'd figured, "We all have our bad days, nothin' you can do about it. But, other than them I'm fine."

Silence fell over the two of them as Sans found the perfect spot for everyone. Not to close to the trees, enough space, soft grass. Perfect.

And it was still silent as Frisk signed, "Are you scared, Sans?" They were staring him straight in the eye as they asked and he had to look away.

He knew what they were referring to but asked anyways, "Scared of what kiddo?" He faced back towards them, however not making eye contact.

They wore a frown responding, "... Scared of.... dying." As they signed the last word their hands shook but they regained themselves quickly, "I would be scared if I was in your situation... I'm so sorry I can't fix it." At that, Sans was confused, fix it? How would they-- oh. 

He understood.

But they continued, "I'm sorry that the one time I actually need to... RESET I can't. It's all my fault that I can't fix this..." Their hands were now shaking rapidly and small tears were forming at the edges of their eyes, Sans was standing there at a loss for words for a second.

This whole time, the kid who saved everyone and gave them their happy endings, had been blaming themself. The situation had been completely uncontrollable! It wasn't anyone's fault.

And as tears threatened to spill from Frisks eyes, Sans calmly pulled them into a hug, "Shh, kid. It's not your fault, okay? It was uncontrollable." The small thirteen year old shook in his arms but accepted the hug, wrapping their own arms around Sans. 

They signed into his back, "But, if I just could RESET one more time I could fix it! But I can't I've tried and I can't! I'm the reason why you're still going to-!" They stopped signing as Sans shushed the again, pulling out of the hug to place a hand over theirs which had been rapidly signing. 

He smiled weakly in an attempt to calm the early teen, "Listen, I already told you, it's not your fault and... even if you could RESET, I wouldn't want you to." He wasn't worth the risk, "Look around kid, everyone's happy, you gave 'em this happy ending." 

Frisks' shaking calmed down a bit from what it was and they started to sign the word, "But" and the small skeleton already stopped them, "Kiddo, you're not going to change my mind and you're only making yourself miserable blaming yourself. So, do me a small favor," He looked Frisk in the eyes, placing a hand on their shoulder, "believe me when I say it's not your fault and it's not your job to fix it." They nodded their head up and down, holding their arms out in a silent request for another hug before they were scooped up into a hug by Sans. 

They hugged for a few seconds before Sans set them down and Frisk mopped their face with the back of their arms. A small smile was left on their face and, as if times, papyrus and Toriel appeared, carrying two fold up chairs and two long blankets... along with a book? 

Toriel, as soon as the two monsters had made their way to Sans and Frisk, apologized, "I'm sorry we took so long. Papyrus had this great idea to go grab a book you two owned about the stars."

Papyrus only nodded and added in with a smile, "Yes, I thought it would be something nice for finding constellations!" Frisk looked curiously at the book and asked to look at it while everyone else set up the chairs and blankets. 

As soon as everything got set up however, the book got passed over to Toriel, who was asked to read it aloud while everyone watched the sparkling sky. 

And of course, she did, pausing every time a constellation was described to see if anyone could spot it in the sky. Even though Sans and Papyrus found most of the seeable constellations quickly in the vast, lit up sky, it was a nice night for everyone. 

But, as it got later and later yawns passed through the group and everyone had had enough stars for the night. 

As Toriel closed the astronomy book and everyone started to clean up, Papyrus thought of something nice to end the night, "Wait! Before we leave, we could take a picture in front of the stars!" His smile however, seemed brighter than the stars themselves as everyone tiredly agreed. 

The group all stood in front of a particularly brighter area where there were far many stars, Papyrus outstretching his arm to get everyone in the photo, capturing the moment. Everyone was smiling in the photo, looking only a tad bit tired but it was perfect. 

And as Toriel said goodbye to the brothers, Frisk pulled lightly on Sans' blue hoody, it only took them a few moments to grab his attention, "Hm? What is it kiddo?" 

He really wasn't expecting to hear the voice of the 13 year old child as they responded, "Thank... you" their voice was soft and slightly hoarse from it's rare use, spoken only lighter than a whisper. And with that, Toriel and Frisk left, also leaving both the skeleton brothers smiling as they walked home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These notes might get a little long:
> 
> Idk why but I... I'm just not good at writing characters...? But I tried alright? (Btw, Frisk is selectively mute.)
> 
> And I was trying to think of something the smol skele would be happy about and at first I'm like, "SCIENCE!" And then I thought, "How.... how the hell will I work science into this?" So I started thinking of other things and... star gazing just popped up? This chapter reminds me of when I was writing that one OTP prompt and I hate how close they are but then again they're not? Idk man.
> 
> Oh, and I threw in some Frisk & Sans (and due to a friend, you know who you are, no it's not a ship) because.... okay c'mon the two had to have a convo at some point.
> 
> RESET EXPLANATION:  
> As Frisk got up to the surface their determination was wearing thinner and thinner each day. They now only have a very small amount of determination making Resets and Saves more so unstable. They speak about not being able to reset and that is because they are. The resets had grown so unstable that if one were to happen, it would most likely fail, leaving them back exactly where they are.
> 
> (I am so sorry if the explanation is bad, if you have any questions about it, or anything, feel free to ask)
> 
> Also, I may have messed up, if you read through and catch a 'she' or 'he' for Frisk, don't kill me pls XD
> 
> Uh... small question:  
> D-does the fluff tag work now? Maybe? Maybe not?
> 
> And it's now 2 days until my vacation, meaning I won't be posting or responding to any comments after the 8th. Well, until I get internet XD


	8. Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake it 'til you make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, this took way too long.
> 
> W a y t o o l o n g.
> 
> But it tis finished now!
> 
> I think a majority of my time was spent rereading and then editing this and then going back to the part I edited and being like, "I still dislike this."
> 
> (Quick note, a rather large headcanon for this story is HP stands for HOPE. I'm HOPING,*cue fake claps and eyerolls* that this doesn't affect the way you guys enjoy my story but felt I should acknowledge it. That pun was horrible I am so sorry XD)
> 
> And just bc this is a huge part of this chapter I wanna just say there is a lot of SELF LOATHING.... A lot of it.
> 
> (Don't say I didn't warn ya.)

The first day of the second month approached rather quickly and peacefully.

The sun was shining bright for it being an especially early hour and casting light through every uncovered window that it touched. It was early enough that even Papyrus was still asleep and would probably wake up in around an hour or so.

But it was already easy to tell it was going to be a beautiful day.

Sans however, was not having it. He was still tangled up in his beds sheets, seeing as he had _somehow_ gotten more sleep than usual yesterday, before he was jolted awake, panting and sweat dripping off of him. He had really hoped nightmares wouldn't haunt him after yesterday, _after for once he had let himself sleep_ , but that small hope was crushed. _Well, it wasn't the first time_. He debated on just going back to sleep, from sheer tiredness, but he could feel himself shaking at the mere thought of this nightmare and instead flopped over so that the light didn't pour into his eyesockets and blind him. His mind deciding now was a good time for checking his alarm clock.

4:21 AM.

Huh, he had gotten around 2 hours of sleep, having fallen asleep at 2 o'clock from pure exhaustion. Outstanding compared to his usual 30 minute naps, he guessed.

Yet, he was just so tired still.

It wasn't even a tired that he could explain. It felt like no matter how much he slept it would always be there. That feeling if him being worn down and his energy being stretched thin. It would always be there.

He didn't even remember when it first had showed up. During the resets? No.... he had felt like this before that... Maybe somewhere during his childhood. Or probably the day he realized he was entirely useless and his HOPE dropped one point after the other until it hit a record breaking 1.

Yeah, it was probably then.

Still, no matter when it started, he didn't want to get up. 

He could probably shrug that off to the weighing tiredness on his body and soul. Honestly though, that was only one reason.

He didn't want to get up because if he got up he knew, he would have to say he was okay, he would have to go through another day knowing it was the next day closer to his death. And he would have to act like he was fine. He wouldn't just have to say it he would have to _show it_.

He could tell he wouldn't be able to do that by the way his soul was squeezing in his chest, almost feeling suffocating, and a certain ache was apparent every time he tried to breathe. It wasn't an ache from getting hurt, but just the feeling of everything piling up over and over and over. And every once in a while but not so often a small pain would emit from where his soul was. No, he could _not_ get up today.

But, how many times had he worried Papyrus now? How many times had he just been there dragging Papyrus down? Was he really going to do that _again_?

Was he really going to make his brother have to bear through another day with him, a pathetic waste, making his mood fall?

Maybe if he could just pull himself out of bed, he could fake today. Sure it would be a challenge being 'happy', seeing as he clearly wasn't. As long as he's believable however, it would be fine. If he could just get up and pretend it would all be okay. He wouldn't have to do that to Papyrus again. He wouldn't have to make his brother suffer by being like.... _this_. By being a mess again.

At least, he wouldn't have to show it.

But, he'd already faked yesterday with everyone around. He just... didn't have the will for it today. No matter how much he tried to talk himself into it. Yesterday was to try to make up for being a constant mess and burden. To make up for being weak and useless like he always has been. To make the ones he cared about happy. Today should really be no different.

However, every time Sans tried to move it felt like he was under the affect of blue magic, a weight pulling him down from his soul. So, he didn't move.

He just laid there in his bed, staring as the sun rose higher and higher lighting more of his filthy room. Finally giving up on trying to move or even trying to muster up the will for the day.

_Pathetic._

Yeah, it was pathetic. It was pathetic that Sans was doing this again. Letting himself waste away when he could just suck it all up and _pretend_. At this point he was just being selfish. 

He was taking away everyone's happiness. He was making everyone worry. He was making the last few months with his brother miserable for Papyrus. He was being so selfish.

After all, when was the last time _Sans_ had asked if his brother was okay? When was the last time he wasn't dragging Papyrus down with everything? He couldn't remember. Selfish.

_Selfish._

_Selfish._

_Selfish._

The word rang on repeat through his skull. One word speeding up after the other it soon becoming a chant in his mind. He wanted it to stop but, as much as he begged for it to, he knew he deserved it. He deserved it because _he really was selfish._

The chant grew louder and louder and soon broke off from one word into two. Two into four. Four into eight. Each word true.

_Selfish._

_Waste._

_Unneeded._

_Unwanted._

_Hated._

_Useless._

_Broken._

_Weak._

He was all of those, wasn't he? He couldn't even deny it, he knew he was.

He was mostly weak.

He was weak for letting himself get this bad. Weak for having the lowest HP ever recorded. Weak for the way he couldn't save anyone no matter how much he had tried before.

He felt himself summoning his soul without really thinking, because... because his soul was his biggest weakness.

His soul was the biggest thing wrong with him. _Fitting seeing as the soul is the essence of a being._ The beat had always been slightly off what it should be. Everyone else he knew had the thundering beat of a drum to their soul, his being a mere echo. Its light had always been dim giving off a fraction of the pure white light it should. It only became more and more dim as his HP slowly dropped, like water droplets trying to put out a flame one at a time. Most other souls would shine and shine brightly when exposed. His never would.

But now that he looked at it... his soul didn't look like that. No, now his soul looked _worse_ than before.

The light of it was faded even lower than usual making it the comparison of maybe a lightbulb on the edge of going out. Breaks and chips littered along where smooth surface used to be and he winced. 

Despite being hesitant about looking at his soul, he hadn't expected... _this_.

How did this happen to his soul?

He tried to steadily and smoothly run his thumb over his soul, hands shaking as the digit slid across where a crack was. He moved it away as he felt a scratchy dust cover where his thumb padding would be if he had flesh. It was... It was his dust. Dust meant damage had been caused right? So what about his HP...

Sans checked his stats quickly, taking in a shaky breath as he looked at them.

HP:  
.8/.8  
ATK:  
1  
DEF:  
1  
'Only getting worse as the weeks grow on.'

.8... He has .8 HP.

He let out a small humorless laugh. Wow. He isn't really one to set the records and break them, but apparently there's an exception when it comes to how little HOPE someone could possibly have. Funny.

He couldn't help but keep thinking about the scratches a long his soul.  
His soul was falling apart.  
Growing worse and worse and showing no signs of getting better.

Was he going to deteriorate like that?

Maybe he was. Maybe he was going to fall apart, his soul losing the power of being strong enough to even handle itself, splitting apart forcing him to double over as he feels himself to fall into that dust pile _again_.

Maybe it will feel painless as his soul breaks and he will peacefully drift into darkness he knows all to well for someone who technically should not have ever had to experience death more than once. Definitely not be brought back from the dead at least.

Or, God maybe it will be the most pain he will ever experience. Leaving him begging for the sweet release of death as his soul would flake off piece by piece until nothing was left but dust covered clothing.

Anything could really happen.

Sans figured it was rather morbid of him to be thinking about his approaching death, but there wasn't really much for him to do. How in the world was he supposed to _not_ think about his death when in two months, it would already be there.

Maybe he could just end it now.

_Wouldn't that be better than causing everyone the misery of watching as he broke and fell apart?_

It'd be so quick and easy to just kill himself now, not like he hadn't tried before. _Not like he hadn't succeeded before._

But... Papyrus. Papyrus would care. Tori and the kid would care... A lot of people would _care_. And he wasn't in the resets anymore. He wouldn't just come back again. It's different now...

He couldn't do it.  
He couldn't do that to them even if he was going to die in two months. He just couldn't kill himself and cause them even more pain then he ever should. They shouldn't have to deal with that... _They also shouldn't have to deal with him though._

He let out a defeated sigh, staring blankly at the wall in front of him, no one was winning from this situation. His ears rang as he listened to the footsteps around the house that passed through the walls. His brother. When had Papyrus woken up? Well the time didn't really matter, he was up and walking around like he _should_ be.

Sans felt himself sinking farther into his sheets, tensing as he heard the footsteps getting closer and closer to his bedroom. Leave it to Papyrus to never give up on someone he cared about.

_Even if that someone was only making his mood plummet and life worse._

Sans was practically buried in his blanket by the time Papyrus made his way to his room. 

Two knocks sounded against the door, "Sans, wake up, breakfast is ready!" This had quickly become a morning routine for the brothers, it had been for awhile, (Sans wondered when it had stopped suddenly and how it had started again) Papyrus waking up, making breakfast, waking Sans and then going down to eat.

This was his chance. This was Sans' chance to get up and pretend like everything was okay. His chance to act like he hadn't just found out his soul is _deteriorating_ moments ago.

instead however, he mumbled, "I'm not hungry." He instantly regretted that and hoped that the blanket muffling his voice and him mumbling combined would make it so Papyrus hadn't heard him.

Thankfully, for Sans at least, Papyrus in fact couldn't make out a single word his brother had said, which made him decide to lightly knock on the door again.

He was about to open the door when a reply, faint, but still possible to be heard made it to his 'ears', "I'll be down in a minute, Pap." Sans' voice sounded tired and low, Papyrus shrugged that off to his lack of sleep- which they really needed to work out!

He wasn't worried again... Not at all! His brother had to be okay after how happy he'd looked after yesterday! ...Right?

Papyrus' hand hesitated, hovering over the doorknob as he let out another sigh, "Okay... Don't fall back asleep, I'm not waking you again!"

No more words were spoken as the younger brother retreated slowly back into the kitchen. Surely he had something to do that he'd forgotten anyways.

Meanwhile Sans was cursing to himself. He knew he couldn't even move _why the hell had he agreed..._ He was an idiot.

An idiot who now had his brother waiting for him to go eat breakfast with him. Great.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Sans started to remove himself from his bed sheets and mattress, his body and soul protesting at every single movement he was making. _Pretend_ he had to remind himself. Pretend and it would all be okay. Pretend and he wouldn't have to make anyone worry. He just had to _p r e t e n d_.

Despite how much Sans hated himself right now, despite how much he just wanted to disappear and have no one remember him or lay in bed until he turned to dust... Sans stood up. Sure he still felt like absolute garbage and wished that he would be gone but at least he actually stood up.

_Goals aren't what they used to be..._

Now he had to do the thing he dreaded, make it through the day. As he collected a new pair of clothing, a white turtle neck with a pair of sweatpants, seeing as he was shivering, he kept telling himself that pretending wouldn't be that hard. He'd done it before. He'd done it so many times before. He forgot when he had stopped pretending.... stopped caring. When had he actually stopped caring about other people seeing him break down, his brother no less? He didn't know. But, he did know that he was going to start again. No one needed to know if he was upset. No one needed to _worry_. Not about him.

Sans took a minute in his room, standing in a small cleared out space free of trash in front of a mirror he owned. He locked his emotions out, welcoming a certain numbness he knew too well. And looking into the mirror, his grin looked far too fake for his liking, his eyelights too dim. Far too much of how he felt. So, he brought the edges of it up and made it look lazy and tired, but genuine. Taking the small amount of energy he had, he toned his eyelights to look more... bright. Perfect.

He was fine.  
He was going to be fine from now on. 

...At least, on the outside.

Shivering again slightly, taking only a moment to make sure he looked 'okay', Sans made his way down stairs to join Papyrus for breakfast. 

_Fine. He was fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The skele really has insecurities. ;w;
> 
> Next chapter should be rather interesting if I stick to my plan, like I usually don't. I hope I do this time XD.  
> Hopefully it won't take as long as this chapter did :T
> 
> And I just had to add in that yesterday was "pretend time" if you look back there's actually little hints in his behavior that kinda prove that but uhhhh, yeah. XD
> 
> (This chapter was kinda heavy... Guess you could say it was a Spirit-Drop??? Eh, eh? No? Ok :c)
> 
> Side note: Augh I've been getting into Horrortale. Someone stop me I can't like another AU because if I like an AU it means works will be written.... God why? I have enough work as is! XD
> 
> OH I QUICKLY WOULD LIKE TO SAY:  
> I made a tumblr so if you have any questions, recommendations, or really anything you can go look at it! I'm mostly going to use it for undertale things and answering any questions about like any of my fanfics in general.
> 
> Link: https://spirit-drop.tumblr.com/


End file.
